newly diagnosed in 1998

For this blog I’ll be posting correspondence I had with a forum on The Well, a legendary online forum I’ve been a subscriber of since around 1992. The specific forum here, “the Cancer Club” was part of a conference on the Well called Health. For the most part I’ll only be posting my words, not the words of others, except to set the context for what I posted. Here’s my first post on the Cancer Club.

health 1035: The Cancer Club
  #114 of 984: Bobby (bobby) Tue 12 May 1998 (12:09 PM)

Just diagnosed with squamous cell cancer of the right tonsil. I have a
tumor in my lymph node on my neck. I noticed the tumor in my neck
during antibiotic treatment for Lyme Disease last October. At the time
I thought it might be a blocked lymph. Had to wait for new health
insurance to kick in before seeing the doctor.

I had an MRI and laryngoscopy with biopsies last week.
Cancer is at stage T3 N3 M0.

I see oncologists tomorrow. Don't know what to expect. Will I be able
to function? Doctor said in response to my question of "chances of
cure" that they were 50 to 60%. Don't know whether he was talking about
curing the disease or dying. The doctor indicated radiation, maybe
some chemo too. Blech.

I have good support in a friend of mine named ladybear who went
through intense cancer experiences back in the '70's. Ladybear shared her dramatic story on the web.

I'm a very spiritual kind of “different” person. Things are kind of intense right now,
even for me. My live-in partner of 10 years and I are separating and
I'll be moving out. I have a 16 year-old son who lives with me. Don't
know whether I'll be able to work. Gotta take things one step at a
time. I'll know more about treatment options tomorrow.

I'm a member of a lot of clubs --- madness, mensa, near-death
survivor, buddhist, lyme disease, ex-guru follower, intensity club ---
among others. Now I get to join the cancer club. Guess I'm a lifetime
member. Feel like I already paid my dues but the price has ratcheted up
a notch or two. Ain't life a trip?